Family Pieces Read online

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, places, characters and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Copyright © 2012 Misa Rush

  All rights reserved.

  ISBN: 0615391583

  ISBN-13: 9780615391588

  eBook ISBN: 978-0-9833101-0-5

  ThINK Write Publications, LLC

  For Maeli & Graden

  Dream Big

  Contents

  Dedication

  Acknowledgments

  Preface

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Epilogue

  acknowledgments

  Thank you first to my wonderful husband who watched as I stayed up in the wee-wee hours, night after night, never really knowing if anyone would ever read my work; to my neighbor and friend Anita Westlake who read and reread early versions not to mention her patience at having to listen to me rant on our nightly runs; to Shannon DeGrado and Brian Fisher at Go Fish Promotions in Scottsdale, Arizona for my incredibly perfect front cover. Thanks to Bellamonte Women’s book club for giving brutally honest feedback on a first draft. Thank you to Tara Lehr, Amanda Scott, Emily Dille, Michelle Richards, Andy Shaw, Dawn Weiss and Kari Dean for giving early feedback and unending support. Thanks to Kristin Lindstrom at Flying Pig Media for your guidance. Finally, thank you to Mom and Dad for being my cheerleaders at anything I do.

  preface

  One Choice. One Secret.

  Choices are made every day. Some bear no consequence. Others have life-altering results. I should know. My mother made a choice. She kept a secret. Her intentions were pure. With every beat of my heart, I believe she thought keeping her secret was in everyone’s best interest. She thought the secret would be buried with her, never to be revealed. She thought wrong.

  1

  Karsen woke before the sound of her alarm and prepared herself for the first day of the new semester. A nervous energy brewed in the pit of her stomach. In her junior year at Arizona State University, she didn’t remember ever feeling anxious over a few new classes; nonetheless, it was an uncomfortable sensation that she simply couldn’t shake. It burrowed deep down inside like the tickle one gets in their throat just before a full-blown cold.

  She pulled her burgundy cashmere sweater over her head, attempting to bury the uneasiness with the giddiness of wearing a new outfit. The sweater had been a Christmas present from her mother, and she loved the soft feel against her skin. Maybe her discomfort stemmed from the strained conversation she had had with her mother the day before. Maybe she should call and apologize, she thought.

  She dialed her mom’s cell number, which went straight to voice mail.

  “Hey, Mom, sorry I missed you. I’m headed out to class, but I just wanted to say sorry for our fight. I’ll try you back tonight. I love you.” She hung up promising herself that she’d call again in the evening.

  Karsen reached beneath her sweater and pulled out her necklace. Closing her eyes, she tenderly pressed the end of the silver charm against her lips. She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, trying to release her tension. “Today is going to be a great day.” She smiled and repeated this mantra to herself.

  Looking back, Karsen couldn’t remember a time when she hadn’t worn her necklace. She found herself fiddling with it often particularly when she felt worried or homesick, just as she did now.

  “Some people may think it’s silly,” Karsen remarked once while explaining the meaning of her necklace’s puzzle-shaped charm to her boyfriend James near the beginning of their relationship. “Somehow it makes me feel connected when I’m away. Like part of a bigger plan – my family is always with me no matter where they are.” James had listened half-heartedly, more interested in unbuttoning her shirt than learning about her family history.

  Karsen opened her eyes and glanced in the mirror one last time. Her dark hair fell just past her shoulders in a sleek-straight style that was both elegant and trendy. Even though she’d heard how pretty she was over the years, a twinge of insecurity always nestled itself in the back of her mind. She felt average at best compared to the flawless beauties flocking the campus and still wondered often how she’d landed a guy like James.

  She dabbed one last coat of gloss across her lips and then, satisfied with her appearance, gathered her book bag and headed to campus where she’d arranged to meet Hanna outside the physical science building.

  Arriving at their meeting spot, Karsen waited for Hanna. Hanna and Karsen had been paired as roommates the first day of their freshman year and had been inseparable ever since. Karsen glanced down at her watch. Their chemistry class was about to begin and the perfectionist in her hated to be tardy.

  “Hurry up! We’re going to be late,” Karsen yelled, waving Hanna on when she finally spotted her. Hanna scurried toward her, immaculately dressed in a cream-colored sweater, brown hounds-tooth skirt with coordinating chocolate-brown knee high boots. Hanna’s knack for finding designer clothing on clearance, mixed with her natural beauty and perfect blond hair, made her the spitting image of a model out of the girl’s favorite fashion magazine, Urbane.

  “Sorry. Sophia was talking my ear off. I couldn’t get away,” Hanna muttered, catching her breath as she reached Karsen’s side. Her cheeks were flushed even though the temperature barely topped sixty degrees on the mild January morning.

  “What’s going on now?” Karsen asked, adding, “cute outfit by the way.”

  “Thanks. Sale-rack, Macy’s,” Hanna said. The two girls set off toward class, walking at a brisk pace. “Anyway I would’ve been here on time, but you know my sorority sister. Just the usual ‘my boyfriend broke up with me over break’ saga.”

  “What else is new?” Karsen laughed at the ‘on-again off-again’ relationship of their mutual friend, thinking to herself again how lucky she was to have found James. Certainly, they’d had a few quarrels, but they had never ventured anywhere near break-up territory. “They break up every holiday. I’m beginning to think he does it so he can welch out on buying her a gift.”

  “You could be right,” Hanna smirked. “Anyway, how was your break?”

  “Good. My parents flew back to Indiana yesterday. I always look forward to seeing them, and I hate to admit it, but I was kind of ready for them to go. My mom couldn’t stop grumbling about James.”

  “What about now?” Hanna opened the door to the lecture hall, holding it open for Karsen.

  “She still doesn’t think he’s right for me. We’ve always been so close. I just don’t get it. Sheesh, I don’t do drugs. I don’t smoke. I get straight A’s and I’m her daughter. Don’t you think she should trust my judgment?”

  Hanna wrinkled her cute button nose. “You’d think. But, maybe she’s just worried about you. He did have quite the reputation before you two hooked up.”

  Karsen shrugged. “Maybe, but she doesn’t know that. Plus we’ve been tog
ether now for two years. Anyway, who are you to judge? You’re the one who introduced us in the first place.” Had it not been for Hanna’s prodding, she doubted she would have ever had the courage to even speak to him. But thank goodness she had.

  “Yes, I know. But only because I was tired of hearing how perfect he was. And you took it from there by spilling coffee all over him. How was I to know that he’d find your klutziness attractive?” Hanna said with a laugh. “Anyway, has your mom liked any of your boyfriends?”

  “Not really,” Karsen said, still cringing from the memory of the coffee caper, maybe one of her most embarrassing moments ever.

  “See? I’m sure it’s just a “mom” thing,” Hanna reassured her friend.

  Karsen hoped she was right. She still couldn’t imagine why her mother didn’t like James. He was three years older than her, but what was three years in the scope of forever? He had already graduated and was even taking masters classes while launching the start of a more than promising sales career. The more she thought about him, the more perfect he seemed, which didn’t matter since she was unmistakably in love with him already.

  The lecture hall buzzed with chatter as the eighty-some students settled in. The girls secured two spots together mid-way up the center. The seats were red cloth, slightly faded and worn from overuse, each with an old-style writing desk that swiveled up and across to write on.

  “So, what did James get you for Christmas?” Hanna asked, settling into her seat.

  “Not a ring.” Karsen’s voice bled disappointment. Even though she and James had never specifically discussed their future, Karsen couldn’t help but think that surely he’d propose soon. Their relationship had progressed like clockwork. The natural next step was to live together, but Karsen knew that would never fly with her mother unless there was a ring promising a commitment.

  “Maybe he wants to wait until you graduate.”

  “But that’s another year or more. We could at least get engaged.” Karsen bent over and shuffled through her bag, then pulled out a magazine page she’d torn out of Brides. “Look.”

  “Wow! That’s an amazing dress!” Hanna grabbed the page from Karsen and examined it in detail. “It must cost a small fortune.”

  “Only half a small fortune and James is making good money. I figure I can splurge. After all, you only get married once, right?”

  “Yeah, usually, I guess,” Hanna murmured sarcastically in agreement as she handed the page back to Karsen. “Why are you in such a rush to get married anyway? You’re only twenty-one.”

  “Seriously, have you met my boyfriend? It’s like I’ve landed in my very own fairy tale. He’s everything I could’ve ever imagined for a husband and more. Why would I let him get away?” Karsen met James when she was a freshman. As cliché as she knew it sounded, for her, it was love at first sight. His dark hair and muscular build made her knees buckle, but it was his dark espresso eyes that she couldn’t peel her own from.

  “I’m sure your mom will come around soon. At least she cares. My mom’s too busy with her own drama to care about mine. I’m sure she just wants you to be happy.”

  “You’re probably right. Guess I’m lucky to have a mom that cares too much,” Karsen smiled. “I’ll talk it out with her tonight. I can’t stand it when we argue.”

  Before Hanna could segue into another topic, the professor bellowed over a small shirt-clipped microphone, bringing the class to order. “Good morning class. Welcome to Chemistry 351. If you’re not supposed to be here, this is the best time to exit.” Karsen tucked the picture back into her bag then focused her attention toward the front.

  An hour later, Karsen and Hanna exited the science building and were welcomed by a crisp blue, cloudless sky. The sun beamed down, making Karsen wish her sweater had been a cardigan that she could shed. She felt a vibration through the front pocket of her bag and scrambled to free her pink-and-clear Swarovski crystal-encrusted phone before it went to voice mail.

  “Hi, Daddy!” Karsen answered in an upbeat voice. The three-hour time difference made it three in the afternoon in Indiana, an odd time, she thought, for her dad to be calling.

  “New Blackberry?” Hanna asked.

  “Shhh,” Karsen said turning away and plugging her open ear. “Sorry, Dad. I couldn’t hear you. Hanna was talking. We’re just leaving chem class. What’s up?”

  “It’s your mother,” he started, his voice sounding much further away than the two thousand miles between them. “Honey, I’m afraid she’s been in a car accident…”

  “What?” Karsen’s face drew white as she listened.

  “What’s wrong?” mouthed Hanna, her face immediately conveying her worry.

  “Is she okay?”

  “I’m sorry, honey,” Carl Woods continued on the other end of the phone. His voice shook as he struggled to form the words. “There’s no easy way to tell you this, but she’s gone. Your mom is gone.”

  “No, No, NO!” Karsen gasped, slowly shaking her head in disbelief. Her eyes filled with tears, as a crippling constriction overtook her chest, causing her to a make a hiccup sound. “Oh God, oh my God, NO!”

  The next morning, Karsen lay on the bed covers, knees curled up in a fetal position. Her tears had come and gone throughout the night; she hadn’t slept more than a mere ten or twenty minutes. Karsen held the charm of her necklace tightly against her heart, her eyes fixed on the family photo on her dresser, the last family photo that would include her mother.

  For the most part, Karsen’s life to date had been picture-perfect. Against the odds, her parents were still happily married, and she’d been raised with her older brother in a typical middle-class home. She and her brother Brad, two years her senior and an aspiring stand-up comedian, had always been close. She had even followed him to the same college.

  “Hey, sis,” Brad said as he ran his hand soothingly over the top of her head. She had heard him enter the room but did not turn to look. Her eyes gazed into space as she continued to hold tight to the necklace. She couldn’t move. She couldn’t breathe. All she could do was let the tears stream down her cheeks.

  “We’ve got to get going or we’ll miss our flight,” he coaxed, his voice deep and somber. Dark circles surrounded his usually vibrant brown eyes. His black hair looked disheveled and she could tell he hadn’t slept either.

  “I know.” Her reply was barely audible. She had no recollection of how the airline tickets had been arranged or any other detail of their trip back home. Brad had taken care of everything.

  “Are you packed?” He asked noticing the suitcase still open on the floor.

  “Yeah,” she said, unsure. She had haphazardly packed and couldn’t recall if she put in enough clothes for the week. Her mind wandered, unable to focus on anything. Had she told her mother she loved her? She couldn’t remember. She never imagined her mother would not be there for her. Who would help pick out her wedding dress? Who would share in the joy of her first child? This can’t be happening, she thought. This just can’t be happening.

  Brad zipped her suitcase and placed it by the door. He pried apart the sticky, white paper tags still marking the flight information from Karsen’s last trip, and placed the wad in the garbage. “Come on, sis. Hanna’s waiting outside.”

  Karsen sniffled and dragged her unwilling shell of a body off of the bed. Every inch of her body felt numb. She felt like a zombie, a foreigner in her own body. Brad watched as she wiped her tears. He had shed his own in private. He knew more would come, but right now he needed to be strong. Someone had to be. He propped the door open with his foot as he waited for her to turn off the light, then they both left together.

  Hanna waited by the car and watched as Karsen locked the front door. At a loss for the right words to say, she helped load their luggage into the cramped trunk of her less than glamorous 1998 Honda Civic. Unable to afford to fly back to Indiana with them, driving her friends to the airport seemed the least she could do.

  “You know I’d come if I could
,” she finally said, interlinking her arm with Karsen.

  “I know.” Karsen gave Hanna’s hand a slight squeeze before freeing herself and climbing into the back seat. She offered no elaboration. She didn’t want to talk to anyone, not even her best friend. She just wanted someone to wake her up and tell her this was all a bad dream.

  Hanna glanced at Brad. “You ready?” Hanna had known Brad since the first day she met Karsen and considered him handsome in a quirky sort of way, but she never thought of him too much beyond being her best friend’s brother.

  “Yeah.” He nodded and climbed into the car.

  “Where is James anyway?” Brad asked Karsen as Hanna merged onto the exit toward the airport. He peered over the headrest from the passenger seat, waiting for Karsen’s response. Karsen stared blankly out the window.

  “Isn’t he going to the funeral with you?” Hanna asked.

  “Well…uh…no. He wanted to,” Karsen fibbed. Her voice struggled not to crack. “It’s just that…he just started his graduate classes and with his work, it’s hard for him to get away right now.”

  “Right,” Brad said sarcastically. The word escaped his mouth before he could stop it. He didn’t intend to cause Karsen more grief under the circumstances. He just didn’t understand what his sister saw in him.

  “Brad, give him a break. He’s under a lot of stress right now,” Karsen fired back defensively. Her insides twisted into a knot as the words passed her lips. For the first time, Karsen had to admit her own disappointment in James.

  Just as he did most nights, James had arrived at her apartment after work the night before. Letting himself in, he barely noticed that she didn’t get up to greet him. “You won’t believe the day I’ve had,” he said heading straight to her fridge to grab a beer.

  She sniffled.

  “What’s wrong with you?” His tone was less than sympathetic.